OK. I have been updating here since when, July? I started off a complete emotional wreck and have been scrapping my way back to sanity one day at a time since. I have been stone sober for over three months, my relationship with my husband has improved by leaps and bounds, my faith is in a much stronger place, and I am finding new outlets for support and joy (ex: singing in church, bible study, my new weights class).
I am ready to make this year the year of me. I am on a roll now and looking to the future means thinking about trying to fix our horrendous fincancial issues and tackling the issue of when to start a family so now is the time to focus on my self-improvement project.
I have been focused o sobriety and I don't want to say it is a nonissue but now that I have come out to most everybody it is less of an issue than it was. Most of my friends and family are aware now and saying no has become more second nature. So it is time to shift focus (only slightly! i will never lose focus on sobriety because I know it is going to be a lifelong battle).
My goals for this next month are to work on me. I have signed up for a warrior dash in July and that is something that is completely out of my comfort zone. I want to start working on training and at the same time work on my body. I have started weights classes and I want to go up in weight this week to challenge my muscles so I can start seeing the fruits of my labor. I have been feeling really tired and mentally sluggish lately and while it may just be the time of year I really want to shake it up. I want to start taking my vitamins regularly again and focus on what I am putting in my mouth food-wise - lately I have really fallen off the wagon and I feel like the more junk food I eat the more I want it. Yet when I do eat junky food I feel crappy and get headaches and bloated, so why do it? My goal for this week is to clean up the diet and get off the junk food train. Hopefully that will help my energy level for training.
I would like to put it out there that C and I are doing really well right now and that I thank God for this time with him. I feel like we could not have handled his financial problems with the way we were over Christmas and he has been a whole new man lately. He comes home on his own more, calls me more often, is more fun when he is at home - he just seems like he has let some of his resentment go when I stepped back and it has really changed how we are interacting. He has helped out more around the house, cooked dinners more, been more open and honest with me, etc. It just shows me more of the guy that I always knew he was - a good, honest man with good values and I am finally starting to see how much I appreciate him. He has been wonderful. And when I look back at all we have been through in the last six months, this is just a breath of fresh air. I love him with all my heart and I pray that we can move forward in this new year and make this our best.
No comments:
Post a Comment